If Liberalism is a religion, which it just might be, then we can accurately name the deity that sits in the Democrat version of Hades and tortures their souls day and night. Democrats, meet thy devil. Karl Rove, meet thine fools.
Karl Rove is Lucifer, Satan, Attila the Hun, Hitler, Darth Siduous, Freddie Kruger, and Hannibal Lector all wrapped into one cuddly bundle of middle-aged mirth to every liberal in America. They wake in the middle of the night in a cold sweat, stuttering his name. Two out of three Democrats have confessed to priests that the only time they kneel down and pray is to beg for escape from the Karl Rove demon that haunts them at all hours, day or night. Ok, that's a lie.....everyone knows liberals can't pray without self-immolating, but hey, it was funny.
Karl Rove has done the unthinkable to the Democrat Party. He has single-handedly laughed in their stupid faces, beat on them like drums at his every whim and fancy, and driven them to the verge of total marginalization in American politics. Not to mention literally thousands of psychiatric couches. How you ask? Very simple. Karl Rove does math.
While every other Republican out there is a Nervous Nellie, buying into the Democrat lines of endless BS and spin, Rove stands above the fray, directing foolish liberals with a confidence born of a Master, as if they were pawns in his own personal chess game, which is just about what they are. Karl Rove understands the liberal mind and the dysfunctional foundations from which their insanity springs. Karl Rove understands that there is no compromising with medicated hamsters. One does not compromise with rodents, one puts them in a cage and feeds them or calls the exterminator. Karl knows this.
Rove also understands that liberals by nature are not very smart people. If they were smart, they wouldn't elect a Democrat President (Clinton) in order to alienate every American in the nation with their socialist CRAP, and thus ensure that the electorate dumped them en masse (1994 elections) just two years into the "Clinton's" presidency. Opppps.
Karl Rove is the kryptonite to liberal madness and schemes. He anticipates their every sophomoric move and manages to stand behind the door the liberals try to sneak through, handing them the very prop the poor simpletons are blindly groping for (think Barney Frank). Karl writes the script the Democrats are forced to act out. He even coaches the morons and they do EXACTLY what he says. And he's been doing this to them for years.
Democrats have become so paranoid about Rove's prowess that we have been treated to priceless quotes like this one from John Kerry; "If only one candidate has a Karl Rove, it's not a fair presidential race."
Well, John.....you have Howard Dean. How's that working out for you? (a small moment while liberal readers compose themselves)
I hate to tell you all this, all being inclusive of my Republican readers as well, but the "October Surprise" that Karl Rove planned was completed nearly two years ago. Whether you like it or not, this election was sewn up by Karl Rove shortly after the 2004 "We're coming, you're going....don't let the door hit you on the way out" Election Day humiliation of John "reporting for doody" Kerry. Why Republicans are even bothering to be nervous about this silly election is beyond me. I will explain.
First of all, the minority party ALMOST ALWAYS wins the Congress in the mid-term. When we consider that this mid-term is 3/4's of the way into a 2-term Presidency, it is practically unheard of for the Congress to remain the majority party. So if the Democrats had ANY support or brains, they'd have already been running Congress, at least by a slim margin. However, Democrats, being the liberals that they are, cannot grasp this since to do so would require them to slay the denial they shoot themselves up on daily like addicts. So for the Democrats to be this desperate to win at this point in the Bush presidency simply underscores how pathetic and out-of-touch with America they've become.
Secondly, you will recall that I mentioned that Rove understands math. Well, this is the math he understands. Republicans are more fertile than Democrats. 40% more fertile as it turns out. A small amount of common sense would lead one to the same conclusion that these various studies have already verified. I know this statistical fact drives liberals up the proverbial wall, because I have seen them lose their minds, pull hair, gnash teeth, and try to mate with anything that moves in an attempt to correct this small glitch in their "hippy good-businessman baaaad" deviant psychosis. Of course we cannot overlook that 80% of Americans vote the same party as their parents did. Not good equations for the Democrats.
Also, liberalism is not conducive to large, viable, productive, and educated families. Few liberal women manage to stay with a man long enough to have a family, would be one reason. The vast majority of single moms voting Democrat (over 70%+) primarily over the issue of abortion would be another. Keeping the right to abort their own future voters is the core issue to most single Democrat mothers when they enter the voting booth. Nothing scares a single mom into the voting booth faster than someone telling her that she can't quietly dispose of her "mistakes" legally. And it is well established that single mothers cannot compete with their married counterparts when it comes to keeping their children in school, off drugs, and out of the jail house. Democrats are simply too stupid and myopic to realize that the reason single mothers never turn out to vote (only 18-21 year old voters have a lower turnout) is that they have no motivation to vote unless they think Roe vs. Wade is in danger. If Roe isn't on the ballot....the single mom doesn't have the time or attention span to hit the voting booth on Election Day.
Read it and weep. I don't sit at home on Election Day, single Democrat mothers do. Don't believe me? Ask Al Gore or John Kerry. Of course, Karl Rove understands this, which is why any debate on the abortion issue has been shelved for the duration of this war. More common sense, we may need to call a medic.
Which leads us to the final arbitrator on mathematics.....the accountant. In February of 2005, Karl Rove quietly yet exultantly declared victory over his Democrat opponents for the 2006 elections, for that was the month that Howard Dean was elected Chairman of the DNC.
I recall the day quite well. I spent most of it "Yeaaaaaaaa Haaaaaw"ing myself into a state of hysterics at the completely new level of stupidity the Democrats had now taken "political strategy". How could they possibly have failed to notice the open glee that Karl Rove greeted each Dean "success" with? Only a blind fool fails to see the obvious. "Yeah, he's the guy....he's the one we want." (Karl Rove at a Dean rally in 2004) Yet not a single so-called "professional" in the media managed to latch onto this obvious telegraphing of a George Foreman-like hay-maker from the heavyweight champion of political strategy himself, Karl Rove.
America votes with it's wallet. The easiest way to relegate the Democrats to perpetual chumpdom is to put a manic, Prozac-munching freak in charge of their money. Obviously child's play for Karl Rove. Yet all the "smart people" completely missed this and to the contrary, drooled puddles as they gushed over the "wise and mature" decision of putting Alec Baldwin's twin-brother in charge of.......(if you still have a straight face, you're a better person than I am).....the money.
The evidence is in: liberals have finally bred themselves into a state of stupidity so dense that you can now tell them where, when, and how you will beat them, and they STILL cannot evade the blow. They need a new word for incompetence this complete.
Mr. Karl Rove....I take my hat off to you, sir. This nation not only owes you much, but I personally have loved watching the style, aplomb, and singular brilliance that you have demonstrated while you filleted the Democrat Party into small mewling pieces of dissonant anguish. Bravo, Sir!!!! BRAVO!!!!
Encore!!!!! Encore!!!!!
