Tyger Talk

"How to DEAL with a liberal.....(if you must)"

This is the column that Ann Coulter may not be able to write.  I will explain.

     One of the benefits of being a best-selling author and a millionairess is that you can hire very large Samoan men to crush any liberal geek that happens to be stupid enough to get within reach of you.  Unfortunately, many of us do not have that luxury.  We need more.  We require advice on potential options that may be exercised when the liberals have actually burrowed their way inside the razor-wire.

     There is a direct relationship between the plunging liberal IQ score and the recent surge in popularity of random acts of violence and vandalism among the liberals.  With this in mind, we can expect more random acts of anti-social and usually criminal behavior from these traitors, and as such, need to be prepared.

     Unfortunately, you can't just shoot them in the face with a .357 or scalp them anymore, like in the good old days.  And suing each and every one of them would take up all of your time.  So there must be alternatives to dealing with these social cockroaches.

     Fortunately for my readers, I have an idea.  Several actually.

     Some of you have already observed that the libtards have an especially violent reaction to Tyger.  They can lose sleep, wits, and even hair lice once they meet me.  A few of you that know me in person and over the years can attest to this.  I do not play well with them.....at all.  There is a reason for this.  The libtard can sense that I know how they think....errr, "feel" (most liberals haven't "thought" anything their entire lives).  They "know" that I know them.  And I do.  It's true.  You see, to the libtard, I'm the traitor.  They can tell that I've walked among them, smiling, waving, sipping their Kool-Aid....and they kneweth me not (hehehehe).  I've heard all their little deep, dark, psychotic fantasies that they don't talk about in mixed company.  I've sat with them while they laugh themselves into hysterics talking about blowing up the White House with the President in it.  I've heard, I've seen....and I know.  And they can sense this.  They can't stand me for dropping dime on all their retarded, traitorous bullshit.

     As if I care what chimpanzee's think.....lol...how funny.

     Anyway, here are a few things ...secrets, if you will... about libtards that my conservative readers can use at any time when fate, circumstance, and bad luck force one into actually having to DEAL with a liberal.

     Knowledge is power.  Knowing a few things about libtards will give you a HUGE edge when dealing with them.  There are two things that you can bet the farm on and win 90% of the time when dealing with a liberal:

     1)  Most liberals have an outstanding warrant for their arrest in some state somewhere.

     2)  Most liberals have illegal drugs on their person, in their car, or in their home.

     LOL.....now you may understand why they hate me so much.  Knowing these two things about a liberal gives you a HUGE advantage any time that you wish to flush them from your reality.  Now the liberals themselves only have one way to deal with Republicans....well, two.  Attempted assault and battery, and theft.  Both felonies you will note.  This is the libtard first response:  crime.  We observed this first-hand in New Orleans I believe......

     However, over the years I have learned that a liberals worst fear is a police officer going through their stuff.  It almost ALWAYS results in an arrest.  They just can't help themselves when it comes to being petty criminals.  Most libtards are so paranoid that the mere mention of the word "police officer" can induce what I call "eye-darting".  The libtard is immediately thinking of the drugs they have on them.  That will send the vast majority of them running for the hills, to borrow a phrase (ahem).

     There are a few peckerheads, however, who think they are something real special (or have already done all their drugs), and decide to be complete fools.  To a liberal, this is bravery.  LOL.  So, when the liberal gets too out-of-hand, simply have the police run their ID for outstanding warrants.  Most officers will be way ahead of you anyway.  This will take care of over half of the assholes that haven't already gotten the clue yet, right then and there.  The cherry on top is that you get to watch them get cuffed and shoved into the police cruiser.  LMAO!!!

     Death threats on the Internet?  No problem.  Simple call the FBI and report it.  The FBI ALWAYS follows up on these and the perp gets a nice little permanent file with the Federal Bureau of Investigation.....for the rest of their lives.  Usually that comes back on them at a later date.  Most cities now have special "cyberspace crime units" in their regular police forces, such as New York City, and DO RESPOND to these threats.  It's actually quite hilarious when a couple of police officers show up to some liberal douchebags door while he's hysterically pounding away on his keyboard thinking he's untouchable and above the law while he threatens people on the Internet.  I've done it.  It's priceless.  The mental picture lasts a lifetime.

     For the rest.....there is always the .357 and the scalping knife.  (ewg)

: D

Love, Light, and Ballet Tights;

Tyger

"While Saddam Died I........"

     I usually don't go in for the survey type blogs, but how often does a world-class mass murderer and gangster like Saddam Hussein  (not to be confused with Obama Hussein Barak...(D) Senator) gets justice at the end of a rope?

     Hitler got away, Uncle Joe Stalin got away, Uncle Ho got away, and Bill Clinton got blowjobs and book deals.  It's sweet to see justice finally served.  I'm reminded of Napoleon getting his just rewards.

     So back to the blog.

     While Saddam died, my wife and I had a little party over here, invited some neighbors over, turned on the Internet and the cable TV, polished off three bottles of good Cabernet Sauvignon with our friends, sang, danced, and surfed the news for the sorry bastards rotting corpse.

     Woooooo Hooooo!!!!!  Night to be remembered!!!

     Now it's your turn.  What did YOU do while Saddam died?

Liberal Dictionary

     They say that the problem in America is that we can't communicate with each other, meaning liberals and conservatives, that is.  I know personally that many liberals find my words completely incomprehensible (no hable?).  And on a consistent basis.  It's like I'm speaking a foreign language to them.  You can ask them a question about terrorism and they respond with things like, "Why are you such a hateful person?"  Conversely, I must confess, I do not understand what the hell the liberals are saying much of the time as well.  Of course, I don't do the drugs they do, murder babies or support it, and fill my brain with psychotic crap either.  With this in mind, I went on a search....and lo and behold, I hit the mother-lode!!!

     I have discovered the Liberal Rosetta Stone.  Yes.....this ancient artifact has somehow survived the ravages of time and mother nature and found it's way into the Tyger's lair.  How propitious.  Now, for the first time ever, we have an accurate and reliable guide to understanding our liberal....."countrymen"  (spits).

     Setting to work eagerly and immediately, I have been able to translate many liberal phrases and slogans into what we call comprehensible English.  I've taken the liberty of posting some of my preliminary results of this landmark and historical work for my readers here in this blog.  For the first time in American history....hope is at hand.   Now, let us see what our little liberals have been REALLY SAYING to us all this time.  Observe.

LIBERAL DICTIONARY

"You're an idiot." = "I don't understand over 70% of words with 3-syllables in them."

"You're a hater." = "My attention span failed me yet again....what did you say?"

"I tried." = "ah tried" ...copyright by William Jefferson Clinton, may be only used by permission.

"Why are you so negative?" = "I simply have no response to any of your points.  You're 100% correct and this is the best I can do."

"I don't understand." = "I'm too dumb, stubborn, and in denial to get it."

"Liberals care about people." = "I'm a peeple....can you give me some money?"

"We need to help people." = "Rich, white, evil, Republican males need to give us money so we can help peeple - see above."

"There is nothing wrong with public education." = "Hey, shut up!!!  I just got the high-school QB to meet me after work."

"Bill Clinton is a great President." = "I'd do Monica...............shut up, I would."

"Democrats can heal America." = "All we have to do is re-classify terrorist attacks as natural disasters and tell them to shut up while we heal."

"Republicans are against science." = "Hell yeah I'd harvest a vat of babies so that I could live one more week!!!  Are you kidding me??!!"

"Republicans are against a woman's 'right' to choice." = "It's none of your damn business how many guys I screw in a week."

"Democrats support the troops." = "Yes.........unemployed."

"Shut up." = "Okay,...you win, I lose.  Uncle."

"Republicans don't have a heart." = "Of course I support abortion on demand."

"I feel so sorry for you." = "I hate your fucking guts and hope you have a heart attack."

"I am not a hypocrite." = "I'm a stone-cold liar who should be given an Oscar.....weekly."

"I love children." = "I've had less abortions than most of my girlfriends."

"Truth is subjective." = "I'm getting ready to lie to your face.....ready?"

"You are spreading negative energy." = "I'm allergic to the truth."

"Republicans are war mongers." = "I will not defend my country under any circumstances."

"Peace is the answer." = "Yes, I've thought about turning gay."

"Bush lied!!!" = "My reading comprehension score was 17."

"The world hates us now!!!" = "I hate Republicans."

"You are a sick person." = "You are a patriotic American who will defend his nation, raise his children with a sense of ethics and values, have honesty, integrity, and honor, and aren't buying any of my pre-school bullshit."

"That's debatable." = "Soccer players who talk to lizards in alternate dimensions run by the government disagree with you."

"You are so hateful and negative." = "I get all my news from 'The View', Jerry Springer, Moveon.org, and CBS."

"Republicans don't have the copyright on patriotism." = "I will salute the American flag when it's the hammer and sickle, and not before."

"FUCK YOU!!!" = "Will you date me.....please."

"You're insane." = "Yes, I talk to voices, and aliens, and spirits, and ghosts, and Steven Spielberg, Walt Disney, and Mother Theresa....all at once."

"Why does American have to support Israel?" = "Of course I hate Jews and lie about it.....I support Palestine, Palestinians, and acts of terrorism against Jews and hopefully Republicans too."

     Well, there you have it.

     Who knew?

"Father To Son -2006"

"My Dearest Son;

     Since circumstance and opportunity have brought us together in the flesh for this rare and hopefully fleeting moment, and in the interests of bridging the ever-present generation gap I keep hearing about, I decided to pay some attention to that thing you keep referring to as "my life".  A few observations.

     I realize that I didn't raise you, so I tend to look at you more with pity than I do with a feeling of guilt.  Obviously things haven't turned out the way I had hoped for you.

     Oh now, stop it!!!  Stop it!!!!  Don't cry or your eyeshadow will run.....

     Anyway......to be blunt, your mother has raised a fine daughter.  And I'm not talking about your sister.  I know she brags about you being "a real man" and all, but knocking up Mrs. Jones 14-year old daughter and then helping them abort the baby doesn't count.  Any fool can create a child, it takes a real asshole to murder it though.

     Now I hear you're going to the ashram as soon as your probation is up.....that's good.  What's that??  You're going up there to "repair your self esteem"?  "Inner healing?"  Well, that's just swell....with the PhD you've got in sitting on your ass all day long, staring off into space, and eating potato chips....you should be "repaired" in no time.

     It's funny....but I always figured you'd turn out to be some dork Buddha cracker-muncher......or a Middle Age friar.....you had that ......svelte ......(ahem) physique.  Maybe I was psychic....

     Oh for Christ's sake!!!  I know you're 18....Good Lord.  'Middle Age' as in Middle Ages.....oh, never mind...

     I'm trying to focus on the good things about us here....like when you were six and I'd play catch with you.  You know...back when you were normal.  Before you started wearing your pants around your knees and your sister got her boob job for her sweet sixteen from your mom's boyfriend.

     How'd that all work out anyway?

     Yeah, your ma has sure done a bang up job with you guys......

     "Excuse me......excuse me, Officer?  Officer, is this where you need my signature on the release form?..............ok, thanks."

     Yeah, real bang up job.  ............The car's outside.  And throw that goddamn protest sign away....it's not going in my car.

     Oh, and by the way, your step-mother wants to know where you got those earrings.  She wants me to get her a pair for Christmas.  ..................On second thought,....never mind.  I'm probably better off not knowing."

P.S. I DO NOT have a son in real life ;-) .......LOL....it's called "satire" for those of you who don't know (i.e.: liberals) 

"Silence Of The Lamb's - Part II"

     There are so many topics that I could write about, but I thought I'd better wrap this one up before we move on to any heavier artillery.

     The Draft.

     Yup, those two dirty words again.  My last column on this topic generated a good number of messages and comments, with more than a few people expressing their doubts as to the seriousness of intent of Mr. Rangel and the so-called "Black Caucus" making the military draft the law of the land again.

     The prevailing school of thought is that any talk of bringing back the draft would be "political suicide", and is fairly quickly dismissed as typical Democrat posturing.  But not so fast there, Bobaloo.....not so fast.

     There are a few points that I do believe people are overlooking.  Again, I will use the tactic of tracing the baseline motivation in order to arrive at my conclusions.

     Point Number One:  This is NOT simple posturing.  This bill has been drafted and signed by several prominent Democrats.  It is ALREADY in the lawmaking process.  What we can infer from that is that drafting this bill most certainly DID NOT entail political suicide, as the draftees (pardon the overuse of the term....I really don't want my liberal readers cringing this much) are still in office and more powerful than ever.  So the evidential reality is that political suicide as a result of being a Democrat and drafting....damn, did it again,....a law bringing back the Draft, is simply 180 degree's off base.  For those of you who say that this is impossible, I recall for you the case of Marion Berry.  Democrats would vote for Charles Manson as long as he ran (D).  And you know I'm right.  Democrats give free passes to ALL Democrat politicians.......no exceptions.  They just lie about it to Republicans.

     Point Number Two:  There are two things that I know for sure about every single liberal I ever met.  They are born liars, thieves, and cowards.  They live by those values every single day of their misguided lives and call it "civil rights", "tolerance", and "subjective truth".  Liberals function as if everyone is as stupid and uninformed as they are.  They literally assume this.  They honestly "feel" that a word constitutes the definition and context, and not the other way around.  One reason they get called "fools" so often.  But again...totally lost on them.  Now bear with me, this is a more complicated point.

     If you flip a coward over, besides seeing a mud-caked yellow gut, you will also see strong evidence of large quantities of fear.  It is the root of their cowardice.  On 9/11, Democrats in Washington, D.C. were the most fearful Americans in the nation.  I will explain.

     While Democrats are naturally liars (Clinton), con-men (Reid), thieves (Berger, Jefferson, Murtha, Reid), spies (Murtha), homosexual pimps (Frank), NAMBLA cheerleaders (Pelosi),  town drunks (Kennedy), drunk driver killers (Kennedy), crack-cocaine dealers and users (Berry), conspirators (Kennedy), ............Good Lord, this could go on all night.....we'll you get the idea.  While they may be all of those...and more....they are also cowards.  Cowards KNOW when they are in danger of going "splat" all over the place.  They start sweating bullets and looking for a place to run.  This means that Democrats in Washington, D.C. KNOW that bin Laden has marked all of them for death as well.

     And they like to all work in one big building together.  Did you know that a rat is always the first one to smell the moldy cheese?  And these are the biggest rats in American history.  Democrats know that their lives aren't worth spit if America backs off on Al Queda.  They may be traitors, but they aren't suicidal idiots.  Case In Point:  Hillary knows damn good and well from first hand experience that bin Laden didn't stop his attacks because a Democrat was in the White House.  Liberals may be dumb as stumps in order to vote for these incompetent fools....but the Democrats they vote for aren't quite that stupid.

     So the lifelong Dems in Congress are most DEFINITELY concerned about their own rumps first and foremost.  A coward always is.  There is ample motivation for the Democrat lawmakers to want to see Al Queda on the ropes as well.  Personal motivation.

     Point Number Three:  There is some new urban myth running around that Democrats don't like war.  LOL!!!  How patently absurd.  Democrats LOVE war!!!  Anyone remember Vietnam????   Helloooooo!!!!  What Democrats HATE is Republicans winning a war.  That can drive them to aiding and abetting the enemy of the nation....and frequently does so.  The sad truth is that there is only one thing that liberals hate more than Republicans.....on all of this earth.  And that's an unborn human baby.  They loathe them.

     But War???  Not on the list.  So solly, Cholly.  Now liberals will lie to your face and tell you that it is, but everyone knows that when a liberal's lips are moving they are lying.  Always check the facts and figures first.  That will tell you the real story.  And the real story is that Democrats LOVE war.  Math never lies....liberals do.

     World War One?.....Woodrow Wilson (D).  World War Two?....Emperor Franklin Roosevelt (D).  Korea?.....Harry Truman (D).  Vietnam?....Kennedy and Johnson, both (D).

     Really, I've about had it with you damn liberal liars and your pacifist bullshit.  Like people can't read???  Good grief.  Democrats LOVE WAR.  Since we all know how liberals like to use twisted phrases like, "Bush killed those soldiers....", then try this one on for size.  Democrat Presidents "have killed" TEN TIMES more American sons and daughters than Republicans have.  PERIOD!!!  So shove that up your candy-striped pansy asses.  You putzs.

     Point Number Four:  Al Queda and the 3000-plus attacks it has staged SINCE 9/11 ARE NOT GOING AWAY.  While this pre-school point may be lost on about 65% of the liberals out there that voted (D).....it's not lost on the Democrats in Congress.  All your meditating hasn't done shit, and I DON'T THINK the clowns you voted for are going to be exactly trusting you to mind-meld with Osama and Ahmadinejad and just "talk all this out".  Global terrorism is here to stay until it's ass is kicked.  The sooner, the better.

     Point Number Five:  Rangel and the rest of his buddies don't want to NOT fight a war.  They just don't want Republicans to win it.  They only want control of it.  And that's what this is ALL about.  Rangel and the Dems want control, and they will bring back the draft to get it.  Not only that.....but now, thanks to all these IDIOT-PACIFIST-ANTI-AMERICAN-........(grrrrrrr)...SHITBAGS........that voted for these damn traitors........they now have the votes to do so.  And easily.

     The draft is coming back...and soon.  No Democrat President has ever DARED to fight a war without it.  Bet the farm on this one.

     So how are all you dumbassed liberals feeling about your stupid votes now?

     You were warned,.....morons.

     Good Lord.

Thank You

     I know I did this already at Christmas, but that could easily be construed as generic.  So I wanted to fire off another heartfelt "Thank You" to all of my readers.

     As I mentioned previously, I've only been at this blogging thing for a few months now.  I'd intended to give it a rest over the holidays, but between behavior-challenged moonbats and behavior-challenged moonbats, the wellspring of inspiration flowed anyway.

     As a result of that, since a few days before Christmas, my subscriptions have quadrupled, my readers have tripled, and my blogs consistently are hitting in the Top 50 on myspace (a neato-keen trick that Reagan Jr. showed this newbie only a few days ago).  Plus I am getting TONS of positive feedback from you guys!!!

     I LOVE IT!!!! And Thank you thank you thank you so very much!!!

     As a completely unexpected bonus prize, I've also been banned from two New Age forums, had enlightened flower children scream "FUCK YOU!!!!!" to me......(LOL....I loved that one)......closed out over two dozen moonbat threads....and have now achieved the notable honor of having my words surgically removed from these sites single post by single post.

     Apparently my words have an infectious quality to them that continued exposure to completely decimates the moonbat natural high.  In other words, I'm the rain on the moonbat parade....  Well, who knew!!!

     Anyway, about 25% of my subscribers are card-carrying liberals, so either they are lying and read it anyway, or not enough Republicans are subscribing.   : /

     LOL, just joking.  All you guys are great.  Yes, even you libtards.  The fact that you read the words indicates that there is still a shred of your soul left......hoping....praying....crying out for help.

     I hear you, little moonbats!!!  I hear you!!!  Help is on the way!!!

LMAO!!!!  Thanks again guys.  You rock.

Tyger

"Silence Of The Lamb's"

     My, my, my......sure is awful quiet these days in Libby-land.  What happened to the "wave of change" that the Democrats were all squawking about before their narrow election victory?  Seems Pelosi has already laughed in C-Span's face for expecting her to make good on her "promise" of "liberal coverage" in the House.  Oppppth.  I guess "liberal coverage" is limited to conservative lawmakers.  Those funny liberals....they never stop.

     Although I DO hear some mumbling and grumbling coming from the Left side of the aisle....and my psychic talents tell me that it's not as a result of Senator Kennedy passing gas again.  Here,  let's see if we can't get a little closer and eavesdrop on the Democrats and try to find out if they have any ideas in this "wave of change" .....

     <puts cup against wall...>

     Oh my.  Oh my..........oh my my my my my.....

     Oh boy.....the liberals are NEVER going to believe this one.  Man, oh man, oh man.  They just aren't going to believe it.  No way........

     Turns out that the Democrats DO HAVE AN IDEA AFTER ALL.......and they are talking about it as we speak.  Their first act appears to be .......bringing back the draft.

     Fortunately I anticipated this moment and have a copious supply of ammonia inhalants on hand.  My liberal readers may use them freely.  See.....I do care.

     The Draft.  The.....DRAFT!!!!!     THE DRAFT!!!!!!

     THE

     DRAFT..........

     LOL!!!!  Those are the only two words in the English language that can put a cold pit in the stomach of every liberal male under the age of 27.  And you know I'm right.  We are talking absolute pure horror here.  They'd rather deal with being a real father first. 

Story Time:

     One of our guests the other evening was a young liberal male.  About 19 years old.  And a complete metrosexual geek.  I mean totally.  He's so silly I kept calling him "Truman" to his face.....and he took it as a compliment.  The U.S. of A. "may be" in serious trouble if you hippy gals are depending on "Kid Not" to defend your sorry rump.

     Anyway, this clown was yakking it up over the Democraps taking control of Congress.  "We're gonna do this....and we're gonna do that....blah, blah, blah..."

     Of course, the idiot doesn't follow the news ....AT ALL...and, like most Democrats, is so vastly misinformed that it borders on a learning disability.  So, I took out all of 30 seconds of my evening to show him what Rangel has been saying ....ON THE NEWS!!!....LOL.  Sorry.

     The poor boy's face blanched so white I had to look between his shoes to see if he'd just shit himself.  Once confirmed that he'd managed to hold his bowels....for the moment, anyway, I had to grin right in his face and say the immortal words of triumph one voices when one has vanquished any liberal......

     "....What?..."

     "Man...this isn't funny.  He wants to bring back the draft.....", gerbil-boy is not pleased.

     "Yeah, what's even less funny is that ....oh, lookee here....he's a Democrat (lmao).....and he wants....you.  (LMAO)  And, oh wow....he's a lawmaker that can now make it happen...."  (ROFL) Being the nice guy that I am, I'm biting my tongue while I laugh.

     At this point, gerbil-boy is about to pass out.  He's having visions of doing pushups and using all of his gerbil-like strength to unsuccessfully pull a pin from a grenade while a "MAN" in a crewcut stands behind him yelling in his ear.

     I thought he was going to cry.

     Then, (of course) he gets an idea.  "I'll just go to Canada I guess...."

     I grin from ear-to-ear.  "Well that's a super-duper, pooper-scooper plan there, Ace.....you and about a million other tie-dyed pansies??  I don't think so.  Between the Canucks not wanting you, increased border surveillance, the internet, and thousands of trained eyes, cameras, and satellites all watching you.....my money says you end up in a local jail in Montana.  LOL."

     Of course, he's gay as a three dollar bill, so he laughs and says, "That works!!!"

     LMAO!!!!  Too damn funny.

     Back to the point.  (I think most of my liberal readers have recovered enough to continue)  It looks like the draft is coming back....and soon.  Thanks to the newly-elected Democrats.

     Now, being a veteran myself, I have definite thoughts on this topic.  For the sake of brevity, however, in this blog I'm not going to pursue the reasons, pedantic that they are, for the possible reinstatement of the draft.  I'll cover that later on.  Here we are just going to look at the ramifications of the draft.  And, of course, the total irony for the libtards.  Bwahahahahaaha!!!!!!

     Personally, I, like most Republicans, DO NOT favor the draft.  I served in an all-volunteer force and it worked just fine.  The thought of some idiot pacifist douchebag in a foxhole next to me....having that clown in charge of watching my back....is enough to give a normal person hives.  (...shivers)

      I'd rather face twice as many of the enemy.  At least I know where they stand.  There are other reasons I don't favor a draft.

     1)  Most of today's kids are simply too uneducated and incompetent to be able to handle the military at all.  They can barely read and write.  Working with hi-technology equipment in a team-oriented workplace is something they tell other people about...but rarely demonstrate any competency at themselves.  Painting protest signs for some reason just doesn't seem to be conducive to competency in the workforce.  Young men who get emotional over planning the next location of their body piercing brain-lock at the thought of having to master the interior of an M1 tank.  Deer in headlights.  You may as well ask them what they think of diving into the sun.  If the draft were brought back, non-combat casualties would skyrocket.  These idiots would be picking up grenades and blowing themselves up left and right.  "Fragging" would come back in the field.  And with good reason.  Idiots cost lives in battle.

     2)  All other elements being equal, motivation is the defining difference in an armed conflict.  Even when those elements are not equal, such as in this one with insane Islamofacists, motivation is still of prime importance to the successful mission of the military.  Volunteer's are patriots.  This is why nearly 90% of them vote Republican and have ALWAYS voted that way since Vietnam.  A patriot will do one hundred times the work of a lazy conscript.  Having an idiot liberal hippy kid in Iraq who doesn't want to be there, sitting on his butt polishing his peace sign, is NOT going to win anything.  Except maybe a political career in the Democrat Party later on.

     3)  Casualty rates would soar.  Idiots have short lifespans on the battlefield.  Ask around....you'll see.  If you want "Vietnam-like casualties, man!!!", draft a bunch of these sorry ass hippy cheesedicks who's only skill in life is jacking off.  Keep the "Who Would Jesus Bomb" fruitcakes OUT of the battle.  Let them wander around in a field somewhere,.....out of the way.  Maybe North Dakota or something.

     4)  Why the HELL should a weenie pacifist loser get a shot at glory when I'm TOO DAMN OLD TO BE THERE!!!!!

: D

     And the Democrats are the one's doing it.  LOL!!!!!  Man, oh man, oh man.....this is just too damn funny.  I hate to be the one to say, "I told you so.", but I TOLD YOU SO!!!!!

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

     On the upside of things, maybe some of these losers will learn how to read, write, do math, and learn a damn trade for a change.  And get paid while doing it.  Lord knows the civilians can't do what a Drill Sergeant can do in nine weeks.  You give the civilians 12 years and they "kint teech me ta spellz", you give Sergeant Rock nine weeks and he'll have all those peckerheads SINGING "A, E, I, O, U".  It's all about motivation.

     And the Democrats are the one's doing it.......LMAO......priceless.

     Priceless.

"......And So This Is Christmas"

Today is Christmas.

Today is Jesus birthday.

Jesus was a Jew.

     With those three things in mind, and knowing the topics that American's minds wander into on this day, I thought I'd grab the wheel for a few minutes and steer us onto a well deserved detour on our way to the manger (or whatever domicile you think He was born in that will prevent an untimely cardiac arrest on your part).

     As you can see, many things have changed here since Jesus was born.  But quite a few fundamental things are still the same.  Feel free to take pictures while we travel.  If you bother to talk to any of the people, you will find that the names are all the same....pretty much.  It's still Rachels, and Sarahs, and Simons, and Michaels.  And they are all still marked for death by their neighbors.

      If you listen to Jesus in the context of the days he lived in, it seems pretty clear that Jesus had figured out that very hard times lay ahead for his people.  His Jewish people.  Jesus seemed to realize that soon many people on Earth would brand all Jews as cattle and attempt to exterminate them.  Jesus was ahead of the curve.  Jesus knew.

     Jesus was a Jew.  He spent large amounts of time in the company of Jewish women.  The great-great grandmothers of the women you are about to see.  All marked for death by the Romans.  And then all marked for death by the Germans.  And now all marked for death by Islam.

     Want to know what Jesus looked like?  Look into the eyes.  Look into the eyes of a Jew that knows they are marked for death.

     So.....................who's side are YOU on, anyway?

     Happy Birthday, Jesus.

     Here is at least ONE gentile,....who understands.

My Favorite People

Merry Christmas

To all my readers, young and old;

     Merry Christmas to you all.  I truly appreciate your comments on my writing, both positive and negative.  (Of course, the ONE PERSON who posted anything vulgar knows better than to include themselves on that list)  I've only been at this "blogging" thing for two months now, and your response has been quite gratifying.

     I strive to provide honest, intellectual, contemporary, and humorous material that makes the readers smile or think.  If they do both, I hit the bonus round.  Your continuous stream of feedback and comments inspires me to do just that.....daily.

     So, I wish you all the most wonderful day as we all celebrate the birth of that incredible, incredible man,....Jesus Christ.  May His example be a light that shines for all of us forever and ever.

Merry Christmas;

Tyger

"I Am The.......Lizard?"

Damn, and all this time I thought I was The Walrus.  Isn't life a bitch.

     Time for a chapter from the "Know Thine Opponent-Enemy-Moonbat" file.  Let's see....what have we here.

     Ah ha!!!  "Conspiracy Theorists"!!!   Eureka!!!

     Okay, here we go.....everyone got their Kool-aid and Prozac all ready?   Drop and drink on the count of "three" and we'll start.

     One.....

     Two.....

     Three........do it.

     There, now we are properly prepped for our journey into the heart of the abyss itself.  The "Conspiracy (drum roll please) Theory".

     My regular readers should be very familiar with my mental tactic of searching for the root cause of any problem or situation.  I prefer to know the cause and origin of the bullshit you are going to feed me.  Just my thing.  With this is mind, let's take a look at the root of the conspiracy theory phenomenon as we experience it today, since so many Americans that cannot master decimals and percentages seem to believe many of them.

     The Conspiracy Theorists themselves will agree with me, and often like to point out that "conspiracy theories" have been with mankind since day one.

     Correct.  A female named "Eve" comes to mind rather quickly.

     That aside, it bears little relation or relevance to the phenomenon of the rampant conspiracy theories that we all hear today.  No one is running on about Herodian conspiracies, conspiracies against Buddhists in China and Tibet, Marxist inspired conspiracies to topple standing governments, or the like.  Those "conspiracies" are busy being re-written into "true expressions of the popular will" as we speak.  We have no time for them today.

     To the contrary, today we must focus on things like......George Bush is a lizard-person, (Cheney too), and planned 9-11.  Today we need to concentrate on the "fact" that a few very old white men (probably in cahoots with various aliens) have been controlling the world's economy (expanding as it has been....lol) for, oh....about 50 years now.  Amazingly enough, these "grey gnomes" of commerce and power .....never age.  For they are the same old, grey-white-you-know-what-I-mean men that they were.....50 years ago.  Perhaps the aliens keep them alive.  Old....but alive.  Alive....but old.  The fringe benefits of being a "grey swiss gnome" of power, you get to BE EIGHTY YEARS OLD FOR FIFTY YEARS!!!!!   Wooooo Hooooo!!!!!

     LMAO!!!!   Damn, I LIKE this Kool-aid!!!

     Anyway, dudes and dudettes, when I was running around Al Gore's invention trying to get some sort of grip on the literal hundreds of various conspiracy theories all going on out there,....one name kept popping up over and over and over again.  David Icke.

     Now I'm not going to detail David Icke's biography here in this blog.  You can run a search on him and read it all for yourself.  Needless to say, however, David Icke was a seasoned professional at the Michael Moore-style conspiracy theories way back when Michael was still learning how to spell "Bush".  The thumbnail is that he's a former soccer player from England who got arthritis and then starting talking, writing, and managing to publish neo-Nazi conspiracy theory crap in the 1980's.  From there he graduated on to alien reptilian species that he claims he actually see's and talks to all the time and are the "real conspiracists and Masters of Earth".  Amazingly enough, people who read his books and buy into his textbook schizophrenic stories, have also reported "seeing" these "lizard people".  Of course, none of them have ever produced a single shred of anything even remotely resembling evidence.  Not even a single scale.  LOL.

     Try and keep in mind that these are the same individuals who claim that because there are no readily available pictures of 1960's protesters spitting on returning Vietnam veterans, that this proves that deranged anti-American hippies never spit on a single soldier.  But they've "seen" lizard people.

     Kool-aid break.   I think mine is wearing off......

     Okay....where were we?  Oh yeah......lizards.  LOL.  Dayuuuum.  Okay, let's try and be serious here.

     According to Schizo-Dave, the lizards are actually the grandkids of that famous king, T-Rex, and his now-famous younger cousin, "Raptor Ronnie".  See....the lizards had it going on here on Earth.  They ran the show.  Then along comes this little new guy, called a "mammal", and the lizards all go ape shit (pardon the pun) over the new squirrel on the block.  Thus the first "War of the Worlds" began.  Dave is working with Al Gore as we speak trying to figure out a way to deny the Ice Age.

     Anywho......obviously squirrel-boy and his ancestors win the day, and the lizards are driven to extinction.  Please ignore the effects of climate change on species until the appearance of Republicans.  Now here is where the real drama begins.

     See, T-Rex and Ronnie had a plan.  Yup, yup, yup.  Together with "Cera" the Triceratops ("I'm gonna find MY OWN green food!!!") they decided to go ....underground.  That's right, they borrowed a page from the mammals and started burrowing like rodents....

     .....Oh wait.....oh........I see.  Okay....

     I guess we are talking another kind of underground.  Sorry about that, the Kool-aid took control for a minute.  I've checked with the voices and have the story straight now......

     To continue........the Land Before Time crew all went underground, but there was one small, itty bitty little problem, you see.   They all were still dino's and looked like dino's.   Opppth.

     No worries there though, we'll simply use our dino-technology and make ourselves look like those mammal thingies....you know, the humans.  From there we can run the world and all of mammal history, thereby ensuring that reptiles become supreme again while we push mammals into ....outer space and nuclear technology...and, and, and....and the only people who will be able to "see us" will be card-carrying schizophrenics and the seriously mentally ill.  Yeah....that's the ticket!!!

     Wait a second????  You sure about this plan???

     David Icke continues...........

     You see, being a professional soccer player enabled David to infiltrate the reptilian conclaves and witness their inner workings and schemes.  Why, David has even "seen" published authors who call him a "lunatic" in print....shapeshift into reptiles and consume human babies before his very eyes.  Of course, keep in mind that David "witnessed" these things in an alternate dimension at a super-secret government base that exists outside the normal space-time continuum.  In this fashion the reptiles have managed to render Dave incapable of producing any evidence of his delusional and quite macabre fantasies of gore and cannibalism.

     Then again, Dave is on record in print claiming that Hitler was "right".

     Icke continues to expand his lizard genealogy project to this day, financially supported by various neo-Nazi organizations and New Age idiots without a clue.  Quite the marriage, don't you think?  Skinheads and Mothership Flower Children.........

     There simply is no real limit to the level of embarrassment that stupid people are willing to stoop to.

     David Icke has now managed to include all of the Stewart, Sinclair, Bush, Windsor, etc., etc., etc., families into his massive "Dino DNA Map".  It's really quite a shame that poor soccer players in England aren't taught better mathematics skills, otherwise Schizo-Dave would realize that he just put about 40% of western Europe into the "Land Before Time".   Opppppth.

    So.........Aside from being highly entertaining and screaming "SOMEONE PLEASE LOCK ME UP NOW!!!!", what is Davey saying to me?  Well,.....that I'm a lizard.  Stewart, Sinclair, Cunningham, Carr....those are all my great-grandparents.  All lizards.

     Now I know where that patch of dry skin comes from.

     And here I thought that my kids just looked like little....wet,....red monkeys when they were born.  And all this time they were really lizards.  Huh.....funny that....

     Who knew??