Tyger Talk

"WW3 - Strategic Assessment - 2007 - Pt II"

     Over the teeth, past the gums; Look out stomach, here it's comes!!!  Main-course time.  Yum-yum!!!  This is where I do the "putting my money where my mouth is" part.  Hehe.

     Based on my information and assessment of the current geo-political and military situation, this is what I think is going to happen next in World War Three. 

     Ahhh...roast lamb!!!  Iraq.  The military will stage more successful operations against well-equipped and trained insurgents for the simple fact that Iran is training thousands of them and they are now hitting the field.  More targets for our guys, and our military works best searching and destroying rather than patrolling and policing.  So expect some large individual battle successes in the near future.

     Baghdad will continue to be lawless for the simple reason that there is no will on the part of the local government or police forces to aggressively police the city, and our own military left FAR, FAR, FAR too much intact infra-structure for the "insurgents" to operate from.  You morons in the Pentagon want to fight wars like partial wars, then be prepared for partial victories.  I would expect pretty much a status quo in Baghdad.  The border with Iran will begin drawing American military resources there as more and more Iranian-trained "insurgents" cross-over and enter the battlefield.

     I would not expect any further American military build-up in Iraq for the following reasons.  1)  It's not politically popular.  And 2) Bush's own military advisers believe there are enough troops to maintain status quo in Iraq and that additional assets would be best served in a more flexible location.  And we are not talking Okinawa.  If Bush does follow through on the "surge" of 20,000 troops, the end result will be that about 20,000 extra troops will be near the Iranian border, so the point becomes moot anyway.

     Which brings us to our next delicacy.  Roast pig!!!  Mmmmm.  This chef knows what I like.  Iran.  Any discussion of Iran must be understood within the context of Ahmadinejad himself.  Just as Nazi Germany cannot be understood without understanding Hitler and the Soviet Union cannot be understood without understanding Stalin.  Ahmadinejad is a radical Islamic fanatic who believes his mission on Earth is to fulfill the prophecies of the Koran.  He is fully prepared to sacrifice his nation and himself for his vision of bringing about the Islamic messiah, or "Mahdi".  In fact, his martyrdom is basically required.

     Ahmadinejad will accelerate his nuclear weapons program and fortify and harden his nuclear sites in the coming months.  That's a no-brainer though.  He will also test a nuclear device shortly, perhaps as early as this summer or fall.  However, prior to that he will launch a limited and perhaps small-scale attack on American forces from inside his own border.  Short-range surface to surface missiles and artillery are the most likely prospects.  That has proved an effective provoking action when used by Hezbollah guerrillas against Israel, and since Hezbollah merely follows whatever tactics that Iran suggests, this tactic becomes even more likely.  Patrol craft missile attacks against the U.S. Navy are also highly likely, since Ahmadinejad has much to gain and little to lose from sinking a U.S. Naval vessel at the cost of a few patrol craft.  By doing this, Ahmadinejad forces our military into a defensive stance, which dramatically decreases the odds of an immediate air-strike against his nuclear facilities.  This pins our military down with expectation or dares us to invade his fairly easily defended country.  Either option buys him the time he so desperately needs.

     How many of you have seen "The Terminator"?  Recall how long it took SKYNET to launch it's missiles after it had gained control?  I'll refresh you.  Immediately.  As in two-minutes.  This is how long Ahmadinejad will wait to launch once he has warhead capability.  The DAY that he acquires a nuke, it will be launched at Israel.  He has already stated that he intends to destroy Tel Aviv, Haifa, and Jerusalem.  Those will be his first three targets.  As I stated in Part One, he will also most likely launch a strike against our Naval Task Forces in the Persian Gulf, since they present a far greater threat to him than our ground forces do.  Depending upon the world's response, his second strike, if he has that capability left, will be against Rome and possibly even Athens.  Why Rome?  It's the capital of Christianity.  Why Athens?  It's symbolically the birthplace of Western Civilization.  This fruitcake thinks in these kinds of terms.

     (burp)

     Time for the next course. Oh boy.  Shish-kebob.  Yummy.  Pakistan/Afghanistan.  I do not anticipate any major changes in either situation outside of current status quo within the next year.  Immediately prior to Ahmadinejad's attack, Al Queda forces will attempt again to assassinate Mushareef and take control of Pakistan.  My money says it will be foiled....but just barely....again.

     Uh-oh.  Kimchi.  I may have to pass on this shit.  You have to be functionally insane just to think about eating it.  North Korea.  Kim Jong is living his dream come true.  He managed to acquire nuclear weapons without getting attacked.  Now he can (and has already begun) aggressively exporting his nuclear technology and possibly even a warhead itself to any and all enemies of America.  Those of you who scoffed at President Bush's "Axis of Evil" speeches may want to hide when the nukes start falling.  Your lives won't be worth spit.  I do not see any military action from North Korea at all, since they already won their war and all of their objectives.  Thanks Mr. Clinton!!!  Say "Hi" to the slut for us.

     Which brings us to our next main course.  Baby back ribs!!!!   Oh, double yummy.  Hezbollah.  The Islamic storm troopers.  The moslem SS.  Hezbollah and their current activities in Lebanon are the reason I can make all of these predictions.  You see, when Ahmadinejad told Nasrallah to start civil war in Lebanon again, but slowly escalate it, he was tipping his poker hand.  This lets me know that he has set his military timetable in action.  Once that has begun, events start to act of their own accord.

     In the coming months, Hezbollah will escalate their civil-war in Lebanon, and just prior to Iran's acquisition of a nuclear warhead, they will stage another all-out attack on Israel.  This will be the signal.  Their aim will be the same as the reason for attacking American troops.  Put the USA and IDF forces on the defensive and buy Ahmadinejad time and the necessary confusion to launch his three nukes at Israel.  I will predict that Hezbollah will begin an attack on Israel this coming summer, perhaps early fall.

     For tactical reasons, I do not think that Hezbollah cells in the United States will begin staging attacks until AFTER Ahmadinejad tries to nuke Israel.  By waiting until after his nuclear attack, it will plunge the American leadership further into conflicting priorities and decisions, thereby delaying our response and giving the enemy more time to press his attacks.

     And now we finally get to one of my favorite dishes, salt herring with apples.  Oh, ye Land of Israel!!!  As these events develop and move forward, Israel's response and proficiency will end up being the strategic determinant as to how this war proceeds.  In other words, Israel will most definitely air-strike Iran prior to Ahmadinejad's completion of nukes, however, the larger question becomes the success of the mission.  If IDF manages to destroy all of his nuclear production capability then nuclear war will have been averted for the time being.  Keyword: time being.  However, if even one warhead remains, then events will proceed as I have foreseen.  I fully expect Israel to continue as it does today, fighting from a defensive posture and using it's long-range air-strike capability to neutralize strategic nuclear threats at the last possible moment.

     And that should wrap it up for our main courses.  Oh wait....I see the waiter is bringing another dish.  What could it be?

     (lifts platter cover)....a microwave hot-dog from Citgo???  WTF???  This must be Chavey Country.  Venezuela.  How could I possibly forget.

     Chavez is the easiest element to predict, since his options are so limited.  He has no army.  He says he will build one.  I would expect him to hold true to that.  A large Venezuelan army could prove crucial to Ahmadinejad's plan to overthrow America.  It would be a large dagger aimed at our.....crotch??  In any event, it would serve the Axis' strategy of pinning down more American forces in areas where we really don't need them.  I would also expect Chavez to embargo oil to the USA just prior to Ahmadinejad's big show.  He will also begin nuclear saber-rattling by cozying up to Kim Jong and Ahmadinejad with regards to nuclear technology, power plant construction, and shipments of uranium ore.

     And now, FINALLY, the desserts.  What we can expect from other strategic areas of the world in response to these events as they unfold.  There's a large tray here, so pass them around and everyone take a small sample.

     Europe will do nothing until an Islamic nuke is detonated on their soil.  Period.  I may have under-estimated them...but I don't think so.  So until then, I expect US exports of Kleenex to double...'cause that's all these nose-pickers are good for at present.  Forget about Europe.  Until an Islamic nuke destroys Rome, they aren't a player.

     Russia.  The Russians have much to gain from this war.  They will be the largest oil producer on Earth if the Saudi's end up faltering.  But again, I expect no action on the part of Russia, other than political mewling.  Since the Soviet Union's untimely demise (thank you, President Reagan!!!) the Russians have come up lame when we get to the dramatic parts of the 'Nutcracker Suite'....it you catch my meaning.  They are the quintessential paper-tiger.

     China.  China sits in the cat-bird seat.  They are not seriously threatened by Islam nor Al Queda.  They have no imminent threats or enemies.  And by simply sitting on the sideline, they stand to become the rising superpower on Earth by default.  To jeopardize that possibility for the sake of meddling, makes zero sense.  And the Chinese ALWAYS make sense.  Chinese sense.  I would expect more isolationism and massive industrialization from them.  Another non-player.

      Japan.  The Land of Nippon is one of the larger reasons that the Chinese will be doing very little in this war.  Kim Jong and the North Koreans genuinely scare the Japanese and they have made the decision to re-arm.  We are looking at about three years for them to do so, and by then, Ahmadinejad will be well into his attacks, however they go.  Japan will keep the Chinese from meddling and the North Koreans from expanding.  A non-player for three more years.

     Rome.  The largest failure of all.  This Pope has been less than miserable.  He has meekly and humbly retreated from every single attack by the Islamic junkyard dog.  He has become the international symbol of Christian cowardice and has motivated millions of moslems into believing that Christianity is dying.  Expect more of the same.  If the Pope converted to Islam tomorrow, it would not shock me.  A victim.

     OPEC.  Gas prices will soar once hostilities break out.  Plan ahead.

     And finally, the chocolate eclair of the plate....politics.  The most difficult of all to handicap, since everything will hinge on the IDF success or failure at taking out all of Ahmadinejad's nukes in their air-strike...or ours...whichever the case may be.  If IDF takes out the nukes, then I would expect America to continue the 50-50 political and social split that exists today.  Republicans would be on the defensive in that scenario.  If IDF DOES NOT get all of the nukes, and Ahmadinejad retaliates or manages to strike first, then the Republicans will win overwhelmingly and the Democrat Party will cease to exist as a functional political entity.  Think Air America.  However, an undesirable side-effect of this will be about 18% of our population actively joining up with the Hezbollah cells already present here in America that will have been activated by Iran at that time.  For a while, there will be much violence and some urban areas of total anarchy.

     This is the last shot for the hardcore liberals.  If the global Islamic jihad doesn't wipe out America, they have few options besides becoming terrorists themselves.  Joining Americans in defending the nation is simply not an option for the 18% hardcore libtards.  They will strap bombs to themselves and blow up grade-schools and buses first.

     And there we have it, dinner is finished with a flair!!!

     Now I know I promised you guys "The Answer" in this installment, but there simply is too much material for me to cover right here.  Soooooooo.............

     The bar will be open and fully stocked for your choice of after-dinner beverages for Part Three, when we digest all of this material and I will tell you how we are going to win this war.

     Waiter?  Check please....

"WW3 - Strategic Assessment - 2007-Pt I"

     Now that I've cleared out some of the flotsam and jetsam we can get to the really good stuff.

     The really good stuff?  Well, you know, the good stuff...where we are at in this World War, what's working and not working, where it's headed, and what we need to do to win.  How's that?

     Now, I've heard about a thousand and one "theories", "ideas", "plans"....you name it, here on Al Gore's invention, but to be quite honest with you, 90% are re-printed news stories, 5% are simplistic reactionary ideas that aren't well thought out, about 4% are the radical "nuke-em-all" types, and you get a few (1%) that are actually rational and somewhat original ideas.  The facts are that if someone in any position of influence had a better plan, Bush would be listening to it.  But they don't.  If you are or know any flag-level officers in the military, you'd know what I mean.  New ideas are NOT their forte.

     My qualifications, on the other hand, are strictly reduced to logic, common sense, and my personal track-record.  Those of you that have known me over the years can attest to it first-hand.  I also have a wee bit of first-hand military experience.  Hehehe.

     Strategy sessions are best conducted like a gourmet meal.  They work best when served in courses.  Then we can digest the entire thing over a glass of wine. With that in mind, let's serve up the first course.  The appetizers.  Where are we at in this global war on terror?

     First on the table:  Iraq.  Iraq has been a smashing success in some ways and a drawn-out failure in others.  From the military standpoint, Iraq has been a complete and even historical success.  We destroyed the enemy utterly in record time and have effected over 250,000 (est.) enemy kills.  By contrast, we've only lost a little over 3000 casualties ourselves in 5 years time.  That's excellent.

     However, from the political standpoint, Iraq has been a failure.  Yes, that is correct.  Tyger is telling you that POLITICALLY Iraq is a failure.  Why, you ask?  Because of political correctness, that's why.  I will explain.

     The original plan to "democratize" Iraq was a great plan.  But it had one HUGE flaw.  It was touted by everyone as a "solution", when it could not be that at all.  It was merely an "opportunity" that COULD become a solution, but one that would require the efforts of the Iraqi moslems themselves.  THAT is where everyone fucked up, pardon the French.  EVERY SINGLE PERSON that I spoke with, prior to 9/11, felt that moslems, especially the one's in Iraq, if offered "democracy" and free-elections, would jump at the chance.  This is flawed thinking and due to political correctness being incorporated into your own personal logic system and world-view.  It leads to literally TONS of incorrect predictions.  Trust me on this one.

     See, this is how it works.  Moslems did not just become terrorists overnight.  They did not invent Shiara Law because Al Gore lost 43 re-counts in Florida.  The truth of the matter is that Islam has NEVER been a religion by the very definition of the word, since there is no such thing as a religion that espouses self-destruction as a desirable state-of-being ....much less preaches genocide.  Only because of 9/11 are some Americans finally figuring out this basic truth about Islam.  Just because you "say" it's a religion, does NOT make it a religion.  It's a death-cult.  Don't believe me?  Just watch what Iran does in the next year.  Idiots (yes, this includes you guys in the Bush Administration too) that assumed that "moslems just want to live in peace" are finding out exactly how false that line of bullshit is.  Moslems want jihad.  You CANNOT BE ISLAMIC and deny jihad.  It's like saying you're a Catholic but you don't believe in confession.  They are one and the same.

     Now, had the politicians been honest with the world about this, they would have simply declared war on all radical Islamic elements and we'd be nearly finished now.  But nooooooooooooooo.....political correctness is going to ensure that we get a nuclear war now.  Anyway...back to Iraq.

     Iraq has NOT rejected democracy (too many have purple fingers for that), but they HAVE rejected courage.  They simply lack the courage at an individual level to govern and police themselves.  They have no balls.  There it is boys and girls, plain and simple.  Or did you think that men who start out life beating their sisters and then graduate to beating their wives and cutting their clitorises off have...."courage"?  Did you think that cowards who strap bombs on their children and use their own kids as human shields have...."courage"?  LOL.....silly rabbits.  People without courage REQUIRE something like Shiara Law to govern them.  Stalin would have understood perfectly.

     Keep in mind that in this blog we are only going to cover the appetizers.  Just too much material to do it all in one blog.  Moving forward...

     Iran.  Now here we have a real problem.  Republican Guard elements are already at the Iran-Iraqi border, and some have apparently crossed over and are assisting and training the "insurgents".  As of yet, this has not posed a threat, however, I predict that by this summer, Iran will launch medium-range weapons from inside their own border at American units near the Iran-Iraqi border.

     Ahmadinejad operates his own website, for those of you who did not know, and he LOVES to blog.  And I mean blather on and on and on and on.  You can go read it for yourself, it's in English.  His intentions are clear.  He honestly believes that he must engage the USA in a military battle and destroy Jerusalem in order to fulfill the events that bring about the appearance of the Islamic messiah.  Moslems will call him "Mahdi".  Christians will learn to call him "the anti-Christ".  Hal Lindsey was way off base.

     Then there is the nuclear situation with Iran.  Iran is obviously preparing for a war with the United States and Israel.  They lack any conventional ability to engage US or IDF forces on a battlefield, however, they are quite capable of waging a defensive guerrilla war inside their own very mountainous and very large country.  And lob nukes at places like Rome if they are allowed to develop them.  This is quite problematic, since it could feasibly cause a complete reversal of the war and potentially the destruction of a large portion of our military assets.  I've no doubt what-so-ever that Ahmadinejad would try to nuke the ground bases inside Iraq and the two carrier groups offshore.  Whether he succeeds or not is a calculated dice roll.  One that we don't want to take.

     Therefore, there is no option but that Ahmadinejad must not be allowed to develop his nukes.  I believe he knows that he is targeted for an air-strike soon, and will try to embroil US ground and possibly naval elements in an effort to create diversion and buy time for his nukes to go operational.

     Then we have the tidy little aperitif of Afghanistan/Pakistan, since dealing with one involves the other.  More troops are needed there and SOMEONE is going to have to deal with the fact that Mushareef may not be in power for very much longer.  Decisions...hard one's, have to be made.  Pakistan already has a bomb, and the elements that protect bin Laden there are also the one's that may well replace Mushareef.  That would give Al Queda a nuclear device AND de facto missile capability.  Somehow or another, Mushareef needs to stay in power there.  He's one of the only chances we have in Pakistan.

     Then we get to Hezbollah.  Being an extension of Iran, we have to expect their large cells here in the USA to go active and begin kidnappings and terrorist attacks the second that Iran engages us or the Israeli's.  Another huge problem, since the Democrats seem determined to protect them at all costs.

     And lastly...(at least for part one here)...we get to everyone's favorite mongoloid-monkey, Hugo Chavez.  Hugo can do more than we may think.  I predict that this week Ahmadinejad will announce a formal "alliance" with Venezuela and will begin sharing nuclear technology with him.  Keep in mind that Iran is also one of the largest sources of natural uranium on Earth and can easily export raw uranium to Chavez as well.  Hugo is also installing SAM sites around his oil derricks, indicating that he intends to embargo his oil very soon.

     Next up.......What's going to happen and what we need to do to win. 

"Tyger Thesarus"

     It dawned on me the other day, (I was reading one of Amanda's blogs) that I use a a fair number of rather unique terms and sayings that oft-times leave my readers somewhat confused.  Being the Master of Communication that I am, I felt remiss in my compositional duty and have thus decided to provide the "Tyger Thesaurus" for you all to add to your Tyg Library.  You know, the one you keep an armed guard outside of day and night to fend off the starving, scrabbling liberals trying to get at a small crumb of wisdom.  "Please, Sir....may I have more?"  Yeah, that room.

     So, without any further ado, let's begin.

1.  L*I*B*E*R*A*L = "Lying, Ingrate Bastard Every Real American Loathes.

2.  F*O*R*D = Found On Rosie's Driveway.

3.  SFL = Tyger shorthand for "Stupid Fucking Liberal".

4.  "ghetto-baby" = Generic term applied to any idiot of any color who can't spell "thought" and lives in a cardboard box shithole.

5.  D*E*M*O*N = Not to be confused with "demon".  Acronym for "Democrats Exude Major Oral Nonsense"

6.  "Demon" = Tyger-term applied to anyone who supports abortion, fetal stem-cell research, and voted (D).

7.  "Rosie" = Tyger derogatory word for any fat liberal bitch with more cold sores than she has zits on her ass.

8.  "muzzie" = Tyger-slang for "moslem"

9.  "moslem" = Tyger believes in accuracy and not political correctness.  The British named the animals "moslems"...they are "moslems".  Also, the spelling drives ragheads up the wall.

10.  S*L*U*T = Acronym for "Stupid Liberal Un-educated Tramp".

11.  "we-be" = Tyger slang for anyone who refers to themselves as "we."  "We be this and we be that."

12.  "wetback" = Illegal mexican alien.  The term originated when they used to swim the river to get into San Diego and not simply shoot the American guards and walk across.

13.  "Chief" = Tyger insult to any Native American who plays the "noble injun" race card.

14.  "Mothership Child" = Term used to include all New Ager's, channel worshipers, Greenpeace Idiots, and other dropouts that wander around meditating for "world peace, dude".

15.  "Stupid Fucking Bitch" = Tyger term of endearment for Nancy Pelosi.

16.  "Metro-sexual" = Tyger term applied to any American male who has more body-piercings than he has testicles.

17.  "Bubba Ball Juice" = Tyger term for anyone associated with the Clinton genealogy.

18.  "pussy" = What Tyger calls all war protesters.

19.  "F*A*G*G" = Tyger acronym for "Frankie Anxiously Goes Gay"

20.  "Ball-less Weed Whacker" = Tyger-term for any male who gets tongue-tied in the presence of beautiful conservative women.

21.  "Outstanding Warrant For Your Arrest" = Phrase Tyger uses when he desires a liberal-free environment.

22.  "gerbil-boy" = Tyger term of endearment for homosexual males.

23.  "Bimbo" = Any and all Democrat females younger than Helen Thomas and better looking than Rosie O'Donnell.

24.  "bimbette" = A bimbo's daughter.  Think Chelsea.

25.  "Kimba's" = Tyger-term for African-American's who still view themselves as Africans and not Americans.

26.  "Tortilla Flathead" = Tyger-term for illegal mexicans who can't speak English.  Best when used directly to their faces.

27.  "Body-bagger" = Tyger-term for any young gang-banger still in possession of both arms and both legs.

28.  "Yellow Paged" = Tyger-term for any kill shot at over 300 yards.  "You reached out and touched someone...."

29.  "tenderized" = Tyger-slang for the technique of telling your opponent exactly how and when you are going to beat them, and their inability to prevent it.

30.  "psycho-babble" = Any three syllable word that comes out of a liberal's mouth.

31.  "global warming" = Tyger-slang for when a liberal passes gas.

32.  "Lib-Ho" = Tyger slang for any liberal woman who stares at your zipper while you speak at her.

     So there you have it.  Hopefully this has been instructional and assisted in bridging the ever-present communication gap.  Feel free to add to the list.

"Code Red"

     I was fooling around last night, tuning my custom radio scanner designed by Doc Emmit L. Brown back and forth, when I picked this up off a police scanner from the year 2012.

     "Baker Four-Zero we have a code 415F at 490 Maple Street.  Can you respond?"

     "Copy that, in transit now."

     "Baker Four-Zero, Compu-Link shows a 32-year old white male, no prior arrests.  Married and living with spouse and two children, ages 5 and 7.  Medical records are being accessed now."

     "Roger that.  Passing Hudson and Vine now."

     "Baker Four-Zero, medical records show a tobacco smoker.  Be advised of Section 1307 Penal Violation.  Your warrant to search and seize is being faxed now."

     "Copy that.  Fax warrant coming through now.  I'm just turning onto Cherry Street.  ETA in five minutes."

     "Roger that, Baker Four-Zero."

     "Can you give me any details on the 415F?"

     "Baker Four-Zero, hold please."

     "Roger."

     "Baker Four-Zero, the 415F is for suspected parental spanking.  Baker Four-Zero, be advised we have confirmation that the suspect also own's a .22 rifle."

     "Roger that.  A smoker, spanking his kid, AND he own's a gun?  He's looking at 12-25 easy."

     "Baker Four-Zero, Compu-Link has just confirmed that the suspect is also a registered Republican.  Abort immediately.  We're sending in S.W.A.T."

     "Roger that, we're outta here."

"Parrot Postcard"

     I woke up this morning to a loud screeching noise outside my window.  Being that the screeching wasn't in a Latin or some other multi-cultural-bullshit accent, I instinctively assumed it was some temporary rip in the fabric of the universe and returned to my slumber.

     The screeching continued.  This time I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.  Away to the window I flew like a flash, tore open the shutters and threw up the sash......oh wait....wrong memory.  Hang on....

     Ok, I've got it this time.  It's a damn bird.  Yup.  A fucking parrot no less.

     So I shot it.

     When the bird finally hit the ground, I noticed that it had a little collar on it.  Upon closer examination there was a small tube attached to the collar.  I removed it and, well, kinda almost like the Da Vinci Code, a little scroll popped out.  It was a message!!!!  A message in a bottle....err, ...bird!!!

     Wiping the sleep out of my eyes, I left the dead bird for the neighbor kids to scrounge, and took my message into the house to decipher it.

     Apparently this was a ultra-rare and legendary liberal carrier parrot that I'd blasted into a hat-box, designed to not only carry secret liberal messages to and fro, but also set a real fashion statement in an otherwise oh-so-beige world.  And I had ...the message.  Who could it be from?

     I carefully unrolled the scroll and read.

     "Hi Kids;

     It's me, Grandma!!!  They don't have real-live American mail here, so I thought I'd use our trusty carrier cockatoo and tell you what Grandma is doing over here in all these fabulous countries with that nice man, Mr. Murtha.  I haven't seen very much of him though.  He spends an awful lot of time in the bathrooms.  I wonder if he has colon problems like Aunt Claire had?  You know she had them all of her life, poor thing.

     Well, I'm running out of paper, so I better move right along.  Ha, ha, ha...you kids know how Grandma can be.  I've really loved all the shopping here.  They have these funny little bazaars and shops like the one's down on Fisherman's Wharf where that man paints with his penis and the topless lesbians that Grandma marches with work selling that funny jewelry made out of sourdough bread.  I wonder if that jewelry molds in the winter?  We'll have to ask them next time we are there.  Do you think Grandma should get that penis painter a nice knitted afghan for his....oh never mind.

     Well, I better close for now, we finally found a McDonald's in this funny place called "Islam-is-bad".  I told that nice man Mr. Mushareefer that he really shouldn't let them insult Islam that way by naming his capitol that.  Should I get the Big Mac with cheese or without?  Oh well, I'm sure I'll make up my mind before the limo gets there.  I can't wait to get home.  I miss my wine and gavel.

Hugs and Kisses;

Grandma"

Busy gal.  Now I kinda wish I hadn't shot the parrot.

"American Civic Responsibility 101"

     This is one of those columns you think you don't need to write.  But then time passes and you can easily see how wrong your assumptions were.  I suppose the average liberal public school teacher COULD have taught them this stuff, but then again, how the Hell can you write on a chalkboard with your student's dick in your mouth?  Perhaps this is why so many of them major in "Physical Education", eh?

     Really, the level of civic education most of you dunces see fit to display to the Internet community on a daily basis is only fit for ridicule.  Yes, it's that bad.  On the other hand, most of you are just too uneducated to even realize this, so the joke becomes moot.  That in mind....let's get to the meat and potatoes.

     1:  It is NOT your civic responsibility to begin questioning your own government when your own nation is attacked by enemies.  There will be plenty of enemy combatants who will do all of that for you.

     2:  When the bad guys raises his hand and says, "Yeah, I did it....I'm the guy who murdered a ton of you."  that means that the bad guy did it and not your lunacy-inspired "what if" lines of bullshit reasoning.  I mean, "what if" you're just a worthless piece-of-shit with a two-cent opinion who can't even raise their own fucking kids right??  "What if" your opinion is just the opinion of a drugged-out slut still burping the remains of last night's party?  "What if" you think "courage" is cashing your welfare checks out of state so you can do the coast-to-coast "American Pussy Parade Tour".  Who really give a shit what "what if's" an insignificant piece of social shit thinks.  These freaks core out baby brains.

     3:  If you won't defend this nation or your own family, but DO defend the enemy of the nation and MY family, then I will consider you the enemy and conduct myself appropriately.

     4:  Any person who supports the actions, ideas, or methodology of the declared enemy of the nation during wartime is guilty of treason and a traitor.  Posterity and the Internet ensure that you will be named as such for all your future generations to view and behold.  This begs the question:  Do you prefer a urinal or a spittoon installed at your grave-site?  Just thinking ahead...

     5:  It's better to die as a silent coward than it is to live as a traitor to your own nation.

     6:  Saying the same things as the declared enemy of the nation and/or supporting the same things as the declared enemy of the nation is treason.

     7:  The worst crime of all is betrayal.  The man or woman who betrays their own countrymen after they have been shamelessly murdered, is one-notch less than a rapist and one-half notch higher than the mass murderer himself.

     8:  The man or woman who betrays their own nation will be themselves betrayed by all.

     9:  A traitor can never be trusted ....ever again.  For anything.

   10:  When your nation is attacked, the real citizens heed the call to arms and rush out to defend their families, their countrymen, and their nation.  Cowards immediately start criticizing.

   11:  A traitor is very easy to spot.  They will be saying the same things the enemy does.

   12:  Hating your own nation is the cornerstone of treason.

     Then you have to stop and think for a second, and you realize that these are the same people who support coring out the brains of tiny infants and calling them "parasites" in print.  Are we shocked they never say a cross word about cute little brown assholes that cut off infidels heads?  Argue with a demon at your own risk.  Don't say I didn't tell you so.

     You are either with us.....or against us.  Choose a side and stand opposed.

     I'm so glad we've had this little talk.  Have a nice day.....

"Survey Says..."

And the survey says.....

1.  The number 9 is:  a)  The number of thumbs Rosie O'Donnell has.  b)  The highest number John Lennon could count to.  c)  The number of times George Clooney has passed out in another man's lap at Hollywood nightclubs. d)  All of the above.

2.  Adolph Hitler is:  a)  German mass-murderer who started World War Two.  b)  Democrat slang term applied to all Republicans.  c)  Someone that liberals think had the right idea about America and Jews, but had the wrong idea about attacking "Mother" Russia.  d) All of the above.

3.  Josef Stalin, Mao Tse Tung, and Pol Pot are:  a)  John Kerry's "The Three Men I Admire Most".  b)  Democrat Socialist pioneers who had to break a few eggs to get the peasants to understand the vast benefits of socialism.  c)  Group sperm-donors for Jane Fonda.  d)  All of the above.

4.  "poll numbers" are:  a) Something Democrats think supplants the U.S. Constitution.  b)  Surveys that Republicans are never asked to participate in.  c)  Grounds for immediate impeachment if the President is a Republican, and "national unity and healing" is the President is a Democrat with his pants around his ankles.  d)  All of the above.

5.  "internment camps" are:  a)  Concentration camps that Republican President Richard Nixon put Vietnam war protesters in.  b)  Concentration camps that Democrat President Franklin Roosevelt put Japanese-Americans in.  c)  Where Al Gore studied to be a doctor.  d)  All of the above.

6.  Bill Clinton is to the truth as:  a)  A skunk is to stink.  b)  Sean Penn is to beating on women.  c)  Rosie O'Donnell is to thin and attractive.  d) All of the above.

7.  The number 5 is:  a)  The number of times per day that Barak Obama faces towards Mecca and prays.  b)  The average number of abortions of Democrat females ages 18-34.  c)  Hillary Clinton's IQ.  d)  All of the above.

8.  "YEAAAAA   HAAAAAWWW!!!!" is what:  a)  Howard Dean screams when he gets a date.  b)  Al Gore yells out when the Man-Bear-Pig sneaks up behind him.  c)  Theresa Heinz Kerry screams out from the kitchen while CBS interviews her husband on national TV.  d)  All of the above.

9.  "Dakota Fanning" is:  a) A 12-year old actress who starred in a rape scene.  b)  What Al Gore recommends North and South Dakota do to combat global warming.  c)  Madonna's next adopted child.  d)  All of the above.

10.  Michael Moore is:  a) A fat, talentless, tub-of-shit.  b)  A fat, talentless, tub-of-shit.  c)  A fat, talentless, tub-of-shit.  d)  All of the above.

This way even the liberals get one out of ten right.

"Days To Come"

     How much do you guys need to see before you "get it"?  I'm being serious here, tell me so that I know...and I will comply.  Whatever you need to see in order to convince you that these fucking demons from Hell are NOT your countrymen and women....I will do.

     Need to see them coring the brains out of 45,000,000 little babies?   I'll bring it to you.

     Need to see them raping a 12-year old on film and calling it "art"?  I'll show you the clips.

     Need to see pictures of them assaulting and vandalizing the White House?  Can do there too.

     Need to see them dressed up as Palestinian terrorists?  I have an entire photo album.

     Want to hear them plotting to murder Republicans?  I have the tapes.

     Want to see evidence that they are moslems and accept money from terrorists?  The records are right there for any fool with eyes.

     Need to see evidence that they purposefully destroyed your children by refusing to educate them?  Ask your kids what the Capitol of Guam is.

     LOL....ok, that was mean.  But I think you're getting the point.

     I'm a scholar.  And quite the accomplished one.  If I'm speaking on a topic, my audience can generally assume that I'm speaking as an expert or from first-hand experience.  Bullshit sinks to the bottom real fast, in case you haven't noticed.  ;-)

     With that in mind, let me tell you a little about historians.  They're a funny lot.  They don't give a flying shit about your "opinions".  Never have.  They also don't give a flying shit about your stupid "polls".  According to history, the idiot public HAS NEVER ONCE been right, so what they "think" is automatically discounted.  They only look at events and facts.  It's called "evidence".  And in that process, the apathetic members of the set are assigned as much blame as the activists are.

     So....future generations are going to blame apathetic Republicans as much as they are going to blame the anarchist liberals.  Think about that.

     Now I know the frustration levels out there are reaching epidemic proportions, I read it in your mail to me daily.  This is part and parcel of the dynamic of social revolution and an impending civil war.  The normal elements of the populace eventually get fed up with the deviant member's bizarre and criminal behavior and finally take action.  What action do they take?  The action that your elected politicians and police officers REFUSE to take.

     In light of that, I can tell you a few things you can expect to see in these "Days To Come", if you will.  I'll wait while you grab some paper and a pen.

     All set?  Good.  Here we go.  First of all, fully expect Democrats and liberals in general to become far more violent in the near future.  We are already seeing examples of this nationwide.  As they gravitate more and more towards openly supporting the jihadists, they will begin to imitate their behavior.  Mobs of them will be running the streets, burning cars and buildings and murdering anyone in their paths.  You will see more and more incidents like what happened to the Yale students visiting San Francisco.  Do NOT expect any police officers to assist you in any way shape or form during these times.  Evidence and history show that the police work for the Democrats and not us.  In other words, go clean your damn gun, load it, and tuck it away in your purse.  Then, when the dirtbag freaks who support Islamic terrorists try to assault you.....shoot them.

     Correct.....I am advising Americans to shoot criminals that attempt to beat them to death.  LOL, imagine that!!!  Now, this may sound "radical" to some of you, but you'll either a) get with the program and we'll discuss this at a later date over a glass of wine.....or b) you'll be dead by then and I'll say a short prayer over your grave.  There's more....

     When you shoot them, don't aim for the chest or any appendages.  Criminals are getting wise these days and some wear body armor.  Also, criminals today will actually sue their victims for trying to defend themselves, so don't leave a live body to testify or sue you in court.  Shoot them dead.  Twice in the face generally is the best preferred method.  Few people body armor their face.

     Secondly, trust the police at your own risk.  My own  experience is one of zero faith.  Just too many bad experiences with bad cops to trust them anymore.  Soldiers, on the other hand, are a different breed of cat.  In an emergency, you can trust the soldier to come to your aid....forget about the cop.  He's more likely to shoot you himself and take your stuff.  Remember the police in New Orleans.  And I live in Los Angeles, so there simply is no difference between the cops and the criminals in Los Angeles County.  Been that way for decades.  So, network with soldiers and patriots and not the cops.  In a pinch, one soldier is worth an entire police force.

     Also, when the shit hits the fan, those of you that take the old 1950's approach and hunker down in your basements won't last long at all.  You'll be dead in 30 days.  Trust me on this one.  It was a fine tactic in 1950.  Not today.  Those who advised you to "get your undergrounds" were fools and didn't know a damn thing about what they were speaking about.  Sorry.

     Do the math.  Mobility and accurate communications will be the asset in the Days To Come, not bomb-shelters.  So keep your gas tank topped off and a small cache of food and ammo (AND a small radio with it's own power source) in your car at all times.  Those who get the right intel and can move quickly will be the survivors in the days we're all facing very soon.

     And lastly, (at least for this blog) DO NOT trust any liberal, for any reason, regardless of who they are or how they lie to you.  These will be the Last Days for them too, and they are and will become even more of the desperate demons than they already are.  They openly supported harvesting human babies.  They've hated everything that you've loved their entire lives.  And they supported and continue to support the Islamic jihadists.  They will play on your sense of charity and sympathy until you trust them enough to look away for one minute....and then kill you and your entire family.  Better listen up.

     What this boils down to is this:  There is NOTHING you, I, or anyone else is going to say or do that will change the liberals support of Islamic global jihad.  The problem with Republicans is that they are still trying to convince these Hell-bent demons of the truth, rather than simply prepare to stand opposed.

     And you know I'm right...

"Remember The Alamo!!!"

     There was an airline emergency last night over the middle of the Atlantic Ocean that has yet to make the headlines.  However, as always, Tyger is here to bring you the real story.

     It began with a trans-Atlantic flight from New York City to London.  About a third of the way into the flight, the plane began to experience engine trouble in the #4 engine.  The engine soon flamed out and the pilot got on the intercom and told the nervous passengers, "Ladies and gentlemen, we've just had a bit of engine trouble, but everything is under control.  We've had to jettison some of our extra fuel in order to make sure we arrive at Heathrow Airport on schedule and on-time.  Thank you and enjoy your flight."

     About a half hour later, the #3 engine flamed out.  Compensating immediately, the pilot jettisoned the passenger's luggage in order to further lighten the plane.  He instructed his passengers, "Ladies and gentlemen, I hate to tell you this, but we've had some more engine problems...and in order to further lighten the load on the plane, we've had to jettison your luggage.  I regret this inconvenience, however I assure you that our insurance company will reimburse your loss.  We still expect to make Heathrow on schedule and on-time."

     Sure enough, about a half hour later, the #2 engine flamed out.  As the plane lurched through the sky, the pilot struggling to maintain control, he got on the intercom for one last time; "Ladies and gentlemen, as you can see fate has not been kind to us and we've lost another engine.  I've jettisoned the extra fuel.  I've jettisoned the luggage.  I've jettisoned everything I possibly can in order to make the load lighter...but having done the calculations, we still need to lighten the plane by about a eight hundred pounds in order to make it to Heathrow on our one remaining engine."  the pilot paused, "Ladies and gentlemen, in the interests of the survival of your fellow passengers, I must now ask for four volunteers to exit the plane."

     Back in the passenger cabin, an airline attendant threw open the door.  The wind whipped wildly about the interior of the plane.  She stood away from the door and eyed the passengers apprehensively.

     A Frenchman stood up first.  He stepped proudly to the door, saluted, and yelled, "VIVA LA FRANCE!!!" as he jumped out of the plane.

    The Englishman sitting next to him saw this, adjusted his monocle, and stood up, taking his place by the door.  He faced the passengers, saluted stoically, and said, "LONG LIVE THE QUEEN!!!"

     Then he leaped out of the plane.

     Not to be outdone by the two foreigners, a tall, lanky Texan stood up in his ten-gallon hat.  Then he yelled out, "REMEMBER THE ALAMO!!!", grabbed the two Mexicans sitting next to him and threw them out the door.

(ducks)

"Sing-A-Long With Tyger"

     Sorry I haven't gotten anything written yet today....(takes off coat and scarf)  I was super busy running an errand.  Well, actually this was more like an emergency.  See, I just got back from Iowa on the red-eye flight.  Damn is it cold out there.  I had to have a "conversation"....well, more like some singing lessons that were desperately needed.

     See, among my many other talents simply too numerous to mention here, I also teach warbling wannabe canaries how to ...."sing".  And, as any of you who heard that clip of Hillary "singing" the National Anthem saw, the potential Presidential Puss ain't no Madonna.  LOL....to put it mildly.

     I have to admire her courage though, you know...actually making the attempt.  Because you could tell that she knew she sucked bad.  Hell, to be honest....I've heard cats fuck with more harmony.

     And if that wasn't enough...(it was)....the brazen bimbo doesn't even know the words to the Star Spangled Banner.  So they flew me in to coach her.  Here's the transcript of our "conversation".

     Hillary:  "Oh thank God you're finally here!!!  I about died out there."

     Tyger:  "Yeah, I saw."

     Hillary:  "Seriously, I thought I was going to vomit."

     Tyger:  "You mean you weren't?"

     Hillary:  "Shut up....that's not funny.  So are you going to help me here or just stand there making jokes about me?"

     Tyger:  "Both, unless you increase my fee, of course.  Shall we begin?"

     Hillary:  "I hate you....you know this."

(takes out cassette player and puts in tape of the Star Spangled Banner)

     Tyger:  (smiles and taps pointer)  "....begin."

     Hillary:  "Ohhhh, saaay can you see-eee-eee  (looks up at Tyger hopefully)...."

     Tyger:  (cringing)  "Roll with it....go, go, you can do this..."

     Hillary:  (licking lips)  "By the prawns sheer delight..."

     Tyger:  (rolling eyes)  "No, no, no, NO!!!  You medicated hamster....it's 'By the dawn's early light'.  Good Lord."

     Hillary:  "Okay, okay....just give me a minute here.  'Oh saaaay ca-an you seee-eee, by the dawn's eaaar-r-r-r-ly ...(coughs)...liiiight."

     Tyger:  "Holy shit...  Do continue."

     Hillary:  "What so PROUDDDDLY we failed....as the country lay bleeding.....whose bar-fights and strip-bars through the hot, steamy night....O'er the raping we watched, while we were gallantly scheming.  (looks at Tyger)....I'm on a roll, aren't I?"

     Tyger:  "You most certainly are.  Do continue."

     Hillary:  (throws head back and pumps-up-da-volume)  "AND THE ROCKING RED CHAIR!!!!  The old bag-lady's stare!!!....(overhead light bulbs begin bursting) ....Gave PROOOOOOOF through the.....NIIII-IIIITE.....that the hag was still there....."

     Tyger:  (mumbles)  "....she sure is.." (I slump forward in my seat, feigning death and hoping the Grim Reaper quickly notices me)

     Hillary:  "Hey!!!  I heard that!!!  (clears throat again)  Ohhhhh, say can you....oh wait, that's the first line.  I'm getting this.  Oh say does....that.... (stops, tilts her head thinking)....new-fangled?"

     (I shake my head "no")

     Hillary:  "But I like 'new-fangled'."

     Tyger:  "Go with it.  It's already pate anyway."

     Hillary:  "What's that?"

     Tyger:  "Nevermind.  Just finish the song before airline avionics start failing and jet-liners fall from the sky all over Iowa."

     Hillary:  (frowning at Tyger)  "Oh......say does that.....new-fangled ....hammer? yet.....pound?  ....Oh, I'm just no good at this."

     Tyger:  "You sure aren't.  Have you given any thought to hiring Milli Vannili?"

     Hillary:  "I think that if I win I'm going to change the National Anthem to 'Mary Had A Little Spam'....at least everyone KNOWS that one."

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