The United States of America has turned into a bunch of whining, wailing women,....and I can prove it.
The nation that produced General Patton, Audie Murphy, Daniel Boone, and Davy Crockett has become a bunch of whining, half-literate fatboy nosepickers that couldn't do a damn pull-up to save their X-Box. The image of the American male has gone from Patrick Henry to Michael Moore. The feminists can now safely declare "Mission Accomplished", the feminization of America is now complete.
When a woman like Ann Coulter is complaining about getting dates in the nation's capitol......something is dearly,.....dreadfully wrong. When you can go into an AOL chatroom and see liberals posting how "hot" Cindy Sheehan is......something is DEARLY,.....DREADFULLY WRONG!!! When I TURN ON THE TV AND SEE ROSIE O'DONNELL ADVISING PARENTS TO HAVE A DOG LICK THEIR BABY'S CROTCH...........SOMETHING.......IS DEARLY...........DREADFULLY WRONG!!!!!
We getting the picture yet? Liberal readers may want to consider turning off Imagination Station and putting Dr. Demento away in his little box so that YOU TOO can pay attention this time? Very good. Because if recent history is any guide, Americans haven't been paying ANY attention........AT ALL. So for the sake of trying something new and completely different, let's see if we can't get it right this time.
Roots are wonderful things. From them, entire tree's can sprout that are able to provide food, shelter, and emotional nurturing for entire generations of liberals. This could lead us to the conclusion that "roots" are the sources of what we may be able to feel, see, hear,...you know, that thingie called "experience". So finding the "root" of anything COULD BE a great first step in problem solving. Don't you think?
When I think about this topic, i.e.: Daniel Boone in a dress and how the poor guy ended up that way, and the idea of "roots", I suddenly recall that it was not always this way. I realize this may come as a 220-volt shock to liberal readers, however as recently as a mere 40 years ago, American men DID NOT, I repeat, DID NOT wear lip-gloss. Hard to believe, but you will have to trust me on this one. Sensitive readers may want to sit down for this next revelation:
American men HAVE NOT always had the mannerisms and body language of Marcia Brady (younger readers can Google 'The Brady Bunch' for a reference). I will give you a few moments to collect yourself, for obvious reasons. Then we can continue.
There............all better yet? Good, good. Have some cold water. It's going to get worse. You see, all those pictures of evil-white-men dressed in animal skins and homespun are true. They are the men that carved this nation that you grow fat in out of sheer rock. They sweated, bled, and died....and contrary to popular belief, not ONE OF THEM did it for the Jenny Craig's that populate this nation from sea-to-shining sea. They did it for their kids. Not yours. Theirs. They did it, for themselves. For a better life. A free life.
"Free from what" you may ask (if your IQ resembles that of a sowbug that is). Free from IDIOTS LIKE LIBERALS!!!!....that's who. If you think the "call of the wild" motivated thousands, millions of men to tackle that sort of life, then you need to lay off the video-games for a while. While you're at it, burn your Brokeback Mountain DVD, it's not doing you any good. Millions of American men moved their families all over this nation for one reason and one reason only, and boy, oh boy, are you liberals going to hate this one:
Competition.
That's right. They did it for money......for greater assets, for a better chance at holding onto those assets, to have a bigger and better life than dad, uncle, grandad and all the rest. To have your OWN castle. Male readers will understand EXACTLY what I am talking about. When your wife isn't looking you can raise your fist in the air and say, "Damn straight...". No one will arrest you.....yet.
Metrosexual America will view those words and assume that it took, "big-football-player-like-muscles-and-boy-that-thought-is-making-me-hot" sort of skills. Nothing could be further from the truth. To the contrary, it took skills that are quite overlooked in todays "politically correct, I'm-a-weenie" society. Skills like being able to say, "Will you just shut the f*** up and saw that damn log??", or....."No, I don't give a damn about the baby's diaper rash, and if you have the dog lick it's butt again I'm going to horsewhip you....now I have to go hunting, have my pipe filled when I get home. Bye."
A pause while our liberal readers collect themselves.
You see....in early America, and, to be quite honest, in ALL of mankind's history, there were things called "Roles". We are not talking about your 60th level Magician in Warcraft. We are talking about a code of conduct, values, and behavior. And these "roles" were not only assumed, but they were not questioned or even debated, since they had worked for literally millennia, and by all evidence (you know: eyes, ears,....that sort of stuff) the rest of the living world also worked best with well defined "roles". For liberals that I have completely lost, try and think of ants and bees,....even herds of seals in the arctic have roles....there, now you're up to speed.
Roles turned out to be a good thing, ...even a great thing, since the other person could depend and trust that you were going to behave in a somewhat predictable fashion. Gender confusion was not "en vogue" then. (another revelation, I know....but it can't be helped. Bear with me.) As it turns out, the "roles" that were present in ALL FORMS of life on our lovely planet were......(slaps the liberals for guessing "rich and poor").................."MALE"........and "FEMALE". We're taking her up to warp speed now, Scotty, so hold on.
Throughout history, throughout ALL of history, it was okay to be a man. And okay to be a woman. Children were viewed not as separate little incompetent dolls that you dress up and treat like a toy, but as immature versions of adult human beings.....you know, children. LOL. (sorry, that slipped out). Men were aggressive, energetic, pro-active....whereas women were passive, more sedentary, and nurturing. Whether you like this or not is not relevant, that is simply the way that the species behaved................until liberals.
Note to Feminist Readers: Try as you might, this is a computer and you will NOT be able to actually put me on that cross and set it on fire.
It would be very useful to create another acronym for the calendar epoch that we currently live in, since it is such a radical departure in so many ways from all of the human history and society that preceded it. We have "B.C."...."A.D."...and now for the religiously-sensitive "C.E." What we need is something to designate "After Liberals"......I dub thee "A.L.".....curious synchronicity, don't you think?
Now in the post-A.L. era, men have been completely emasculated in practically every sector of society. Men in commercial advertising are alternately complete fat-boy fools who can't take the car out of the garage without help from the sophisticated, smirking, and oh-so-wise woman. Or the hip-hop whatever they are. Or the deranged, testosterone-crazed, violent, macho male. Take your pick. Geek......Freak....or Creep. That's what women and metrosexuals in the advertising media have done to the American male. And you know I"m right, so wipe that smirk off your face.
In the post-AL era, the perfect man, surprisingly enough....is Al Gore. The consummate metrosexual idiot. Before extolling the manly virtues of Grizzly Al, my critics may want to quickly peruse his "normal" childhood spent in hotel corridors that more resembled the set of "The Shining" than they did the average American kid's home. "Redrum.......REDRUM!!!"
Needless to say, when God, Charles Darwin, the Force, or whatever your version of "the Creator" is created "man", he/she/it/androgynous-light-entity DID NOT have Al Gore in mind as the template. The most stunning aspect of Al Gore's life is how he has managed to live this long without completely beheading himself with a pair of fingernail clippers. Perhaps they have been cloning longer than we suspect. More on that later..........
When "God" created Man...he made him as MEN experience him.....hairy, sweaty, terribly crass among his peers, aggressive, single-minded, analytical (lord we hope, but it doesn't always happen), and bodily equipped as a galactic-class love machine ....wherever he goes. This is what BEING A MAN is all about...to a large degree. Now obviously I"m not talking about the intellectual aspects of being homo sapien and having a massive brain case and all the rest that follows from that. I'm talking MALENESS.
And There Is Nothing Wrong With This.
Feminized America however, has a vastly different opinion. In feminized America, if men don't play second-fiddle to whatever brow-beating, randomly wandering pissed-off liberal feminist's particular bitch-of-the-day is ("yes, dear.....yes, dear.....yes, dear"), then you are some sort of dysfunctional neanderthal that poses a threat to the suddenly vulnerable, yet still mouthy, fragile female that was a raging bundle of Helga just a few moments prior. At that point the dedicated and trained feminist will send out a signal, and within minutes you have a 300 lbs gorilla that strangely resembles Rosie O'Donnel jumping up and down on your car, caving the roof in and leaving small rabbit pellets all over your Corinthian leather seats. Tactics such as these have proved to be effective deterrents to overly-male behavior that any partially-trained and recalcitrant male may be tempted to sample. Yes, the "forbidden fruit" of testosterone.
Anyone feeling silly yet, or is this just me?
And poor Ann Coulter couldn't get a date in Poindexter.........oppps, Washington D.C.
Of course, there is no compromise with the feminist, but on the other hand, no non-metrosexualized male could think about dating one and keep a straight face, so the point may be genealogically moot. In the rather rare instances that they do manage to overcome their natural inclination to abort and have viable children, they generally resemble a collection of random individuals drawn off the street in urban America, rather than the type of family portrait that humans have been used to seeing for .....oh, a few hundred thousand years, give or take. In the feminist world, "Daddy" comes in all shapes and sizes, but does have one universal trait. "Daddy" is disposable.
Nothing illustrates the disposable nature of the American Father any better than the feminist Gaea herself: Cindy Sheehan.
Cindy Sheehan is the consummate feminist. One look at her bland face, glazed eyes, and frozen smile tells far, far more than a mere thousand words ever could. Cindy Sheehan is the living example of feminized America taken to it's perverse zenith.
In the "World According to Feminism" acted out by Cindy Sheehan, fathers simply do not matter. For that matter, men period do not matter. It does not matter that her MALE child VOLUNTEERED to go and kill moslem terrorists. It does not matter that her son EARNED THE RIGHT to die in one of the most meaningful, glorious deaths any human being could possibly have: volunteering to hunt down and kill the murdering scumbags who attacked this nation and those who give them aid and comfort. In Cindy Sheehan's crazed world-view, "Mommy's feelings" are primary. Everything else is secondary to the awesome power of......"mommy"? As a brave warrior who paid the ultimate price, who received the ultimate glory, I have no doubt that her son would laugh in her face for presuming so much. Would her son appreciate his mother turning him into a national Momma's Boy for every bleeding-heart spineless liberal that slithers around this nation? I sure wouldn't.
For shame, liberals. For shame. You raised a generation of wimps. And now the feminist mommies are protesting their sons trying, against all odds and motherly tears and anguish, to act like men. What's next on your list?
"We have begun to raise our daughters like sons, but few have had the courage to raise our sons more like daughters." - Gloria Steinem - world-renown feminist
"Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn" - Rhett Butler in "Gone With The Wind" (1939)
